And both wife and mother should strenuously resist any situation in which the man would have to choose between the two. Always, always recognize that you are the grandparent and not the parent of your grandchildren. Mothers who live a distance from a son often travel to visit and expect to stay for an extended period of time. Some of those old patterns involve relationships between mothers and their adult sons. Mothers should avoid calling at awkward times, such as dinner time or when the children are being put to bed. Such a man is also more likely to reject macho posturing. Talk to them both when you call, if both are available.
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